In praise of the younger man ..or.. am I a pervert?

I like younger men.  God bless their young hearts, one even flirts with me on occasion which is real boon to the ego.  The question is though at what age difference do I become a pervert?  When do I become the lercherous old man (or old woman in my case) leering after sweet innocent young pups who’ve yet to find their way in the world.  I’ve used the general rule that as long as I couldn’t have given birth to them it was ok but as I get older that likelihood has greatly increased. Yes there are some challenges to dating the younger man.  I remember when Luke almost made out with his sister Leah.  They know Luke as a glean in Darth Vader’s eye.  I remember using punch cards in my programming classes; they have seen these in the Smithsonian.  Ok, how nerdy are those references.  I had to walk to college barefoot in the snow uphill both ways.  I had young man approach me on my space looking for a dominant woman who was looking for passive younger man to pamper and spoil.  He may have got the dominant part right but I’ve already got a younger, passive, I pamper.  He’s called my son!  Can’t afford another!  I swear true story.   Now I get my fair share of myspace boys who think they are going to get their Mrs. Robinson (sadly they don’t get this reference).   Their pictures have nothing but their well-sculpted abs, no head, no legs, etc.  They don’t know how telling that kind of picture is.  I can appreciate the art of a well-sculpted body, but I don’t need to take it to bed.  (Though I reserve the right to use it in a fantasy or two).  I’m sure they’re thinking an older woman can teach them a thing or two (which we can), and older woman may have an appreciation of their stamina.  But I’m old enough now appreciate 15 minutes of bliss over an hour of mediocre.   Besides if you want to get down and dirty with me you’re going to have start with my head.  I want an old soul in a young body!   I was approached by young man this weekend who actually seemed to have his act together, mature, interesting conversation, good looking (that goes with out saying when your young), educated (working on his masters) but he was 27.  Now I dated a 27 for a while and it was actually one of the most mature relationships I had as well as being a blast.  That’s an argument for!  But that was a couple years ago and so the gap would be even bigger this time.  The gap was big enough that I could have technically given birth to him.   I would have been 13 but it’s not physically impossible.  This one was sitting in that gray area.  I was highly tempted but I (regretfully) declined.  I need to come up with a new rule!

Dear Dirk – Mavs vs. Jazz

 

Glückliches Neues Jahr!  Does my poor attempts at German impress you?  I did live in Germany for 4 years (no kidding) but I still need to go to dictionary.com to translate.   Not sure you were even born yet when I was living there.  Are you missing me yet? I’ve only had one set of tickets in my package recently , well two but I forgot I had one set so I missed the game, so haven’t been at the game much.  I took sort of a basketball novice to them game and I didn’t want him to think I was too weird so I refrained from my normal game time behaviors.  I think he thinks I’m weird anyway so I’m not sure how well that worked out.  I’ve had to keep up with you and the team through the normal tv means.  I’ve actually moved one of the tvs into my room so I can stop sleeping on the couch.  Now I can fall asleep the to rhythmic sounds of the basketball being dribbled up and down the court.  This has lead to one of my greatest and worst epiphanies.   I’ve started watching the post game shows (mostly because I’m too lazy to change the channel).  You were being interviewed by this woman after the game and that’s when it hit me.  I should be a sports reporter!   It would be me standing next to you, draped in nothing but your towel!  I’d be willing to do the same so you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.  I’ve found my life’s calling and had it dashed all in the same evening.  Its too late for me, I’m too old, how do I start over?  Maybe someone will know someone who knows someone who’s looking for someone to do a women’s view of sports.  I was watching her interview you last night and I thought she’s an insipid little creature.  Her questions are inane and just plain stupid. “Dirk, was this a rough road trip?” “Dirk, you scored 38 points tonight,  do you take a lot of shoots?”  Your answers included the term obviously at least 3 times.  Yes basketball is about shooting.  Yes winning 13 in row is an achievement.  Yes, we don’t like to lose.  Geesh, don’t they think of anything original.  The Mavs are obviously winning, everyone is playing great, Avrey is a good coach.   I’ve started working on my list of questions so I’m prepared when I get my sportsshow. ·        Dirk,  what was on Boozer forehead? ·        Dirk,  what kind of gum to Stackhouse chew? ·        Dirk,  how’s it you are incredible player but run like a girl? ·        Dirk, who’s really in charge?  You or Avery? ·        Dirk, what will you say to Stackhouse about the flagrant when no one’s around? ·        Dirk, where are your tattoos?  Can I see them? ·        Dirk, do you and Diop play an soccer together during downtimes? ·        Dirk, why does Dampier always looked pissed off? ·        Dirk,  do you wear a cup? Why or why not? ·        Dirk, why was Devan running in circles during that last second of Lakers game instead of just giving you the ball? ·        Dirk, why was Avery doing a Ray Charles (eyes closed, head swaying back and forth) talking to reporters after the game last night? ·        Dirk, how do you feel about older women? ·        Dirk, what are you doing after the game? (Predicated on the answer above) Then I’d give him, slap on the ass, Good Game!