This I Believe

 

If you’ve read my blog a few times you can see that I tend to be a flippant, sarcastic and sometimes amusing.  I don’t think myspace is the best political/philosophical forum but with the end of the year quickly approaching it does tend to make one do some reflection and introspection.  I’ve also been reading a series of essays “This I believe”.  I highly recommend its reading www.thisibelieve.org.    So I’d write down a few things I believe.  I’m not near as articulate as the essays.  These are in no particular order or urgency.  Just things I’ve mused lately …War / Conflicts / Genocide The killing has to quit.  God is sick to death of people hurting, maiming, killing, oppressing each other, especially in her name.  It seems that for all the advancements in technology, science, medicine etc. we’ve not really advanced at all.  We’re are in our own dark ages.  Its frustrating not knowing how to make a REAL difference in this area. Men Respect women.  Hold yourself to a standard higher that may not be required of you by  the women and people in your life.  Stay involved with your children.  Teach your daughters to expect only the best from men.  Teach your sons the same. Women Respect yourself.   Support another women.  Set an example.  Set high expectations of yourself and others.  Motherhood Being a mother is incredible responsibility.  I worry when I see the other mom’s I meet through my son and the school.  There’s a big emphasis on status and activities.  I think being a mom is not just about having your kid in the latest designer clothes (although my son wears them) and joining every sport and activity offered (we do limit this) its about helping shaping another human being to be a good mother/father/brother/uncle/employee/employer/citizen.  By shaping our kids we help shape the plant.    Teenagers / Bullying Being a teenager sucked, at least what I can/choose remember of it.  Now I’m watching my niece and my son will soon be going through it.   The news is full of kids who don’t fit in and act out sometimes with horrible consequences.  How can you convince these kids that high school doesn’t matter?  Focus on your education or your talents and callings and not on the trappings that high school presents.   There is life (usually great) after high school.  You’ll go back to your high school reunion and wonder what was all the fuss about.  The Planet Quit raping the planet.  We can’t continue to abuse the only home we have and not expect it to react.   Mother nature is a bitch.   Tsunamis, floods, earthquakes, fires, mudslides maybe her way of getting back.   Conserve, recycle, vote and invest in those ideas, people and technology that will help save the planet.  Right Wing Conservative Republicans / Corporate Greed Trickle down theory didn’t work.  Do unto others: Outsource to countries who give the same rights to workers as you expect for yourself and your children.  How much profit is enough? Conservatives / Religions Judge not.

Travel Diary – Always the Bridemaid never the Bride

Well I’m not even the bridesmaid anymore.  Soon I’ll just be good enough to be the Old Maid of Honor.  This weekend I went to my third wedding this year.  This one was held at the Atlantis on Paradise Island in the Bahamas.  Before I get into the wedding details let me talk about this resort.  This place was incredible.  I was a little worried as it was pretty pricey and had read some bad reviews but my experience of the place was fantastic, worth every penny.  The Atlantis is a combination of resort, Vegas Casino, Sea World and water park.  They have the best Aquarium I’ve ever seen.  There was some kind of ray in there that had a wing span of at least 40 feet.  It looked liked a B52 bomber.  As you mosey through the resort you’ll find all kinds of surprises.  The leather back sea turtles, nurse sharks, bonnet head sharks, sting rays, etc.  They are not in enclosed aquarium but so close you can reach out and touch them. Its got a teen club for kids, movie theaters, tons of restaurants and bars.  We were there 4 days and still didn’t see anything.  Its one the few Caribbean places I actually want to go back to.  I also found the Bahamians to be warm, charming and funny.  From the hotel staff to the people you meet on the street.  There’s probably more to the Bahamas than this wonderful hotel but it’ll take me at least another two trips to find out.  I want to return to the Atlantis first before a strike out and explore the rest of the island. To be honest based on my recent experiences I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to another wedding.  Wasn’t really in the mood to watch happy people express their love for each other.  But I must say I had a fantastic time.  Now early on it might have been a little alcohol induced but ultimately it was a great time with the best people. We stopped by the liquor store on the way to the resort as we heard prices were steep.  Of course, when we paid $50 for a 18-pack of Coors light we wondered if we made the right decision.  This decision was soon validated as we watched the Cowboys game in the sports bar and paid $6 a bottle for a beer.   The next evening there was a little get together (with open bar – thank you Cyndi and Kurt).  It was interesting to watch the various wedding parties.  Cyndi is Chinese and Kurt is Caucasian.  Cyndi’s guests look like the rainbow tribe:  white, black, Chinese, Vietnamese, Mexican, straight, not so straight.  Kurt’s family is from Lake Woebegone (aka Michigan).  I could just imagine what his family was thinking.  A few words about the wedding couple.  Cyndi, I’ve become friends with through her sister Daisy.  Cyndi has a graciousness about here that brings out the best in people.  In Kurt, I found a honesty and sincereity that’s truly rare to find in men.  I think they are a perfect match for each other even and I truly wish them a lifetime in happiness.   The day of the wedding I spent at one of the 10,000 pools doing my favorite resort things: soaking up the sun, listening to my Ipod and reading my book.  The wedding was done beautifully and Cyndi and the bridesmaids Daisy and Linda all looked spectacularly beautiful.  It was fun to watch Cyndi cry at her own wedding because she’s such pokes fun of everyone else for ever crying for anything.  It even had me tearing up.  After the wedding was a catered reception with open bar (thanks again Cyndi and Kurt) and the fun began.  Those boys pouring drinks were doing a great job and the DJ brought in the right mix of oldies and new stuff.  I haven’t danced that much in forever.  In fact my hips and calves are still killing me.  Not sure what I did to cause just those two body parts to ache.  After the party it was time for a little late night gambling and rolled into bed sometime in the early morning much tipsy, a little poorer and totally foot weary. My date to the wedding was my son.  Yes I’m a bad mom for taking him out of school but I think traveling is its own education.  My son is going to be a bit like his mom.  He likes to be in the center of a good party.  Where most 13 year olds are shy and self conscious, my son danced to nearly every song, and not just with his mother.  I asked the DJ to play Soulja Boy for Chad.  When it came on, Chad got on the dance floor and did a Soulja boy show.   He was center stage and worked for the entire song.  It made me cry.   Everyone from both sides of the wedding party came up to congratulate me and tell me what a great son I have.  Even the Bahamian bar staff came over to compliment me.  I got special service the rest of the evening.   Sunday night I was exhausted after 3 days of partying and late nights but I got grief from my son calling my a party pooper and trying to peer pressure me to go hang out with my friends!

Happy Birthday Chaddy!

(Chaddy doesn’t have myspace yet so I can’t embarass him yet by posting the letter I’m giving him.) Dear Chaddy Today you’re 13!  Happy Birthday!  You are becoming a man so quickly.  You’ve already got the cool mom present, your first concert tickets but I also wanted to give you this.  I know you thinking mom is weird but hang on to it.  Over time it will gain you will appreciate this more than any of the other presents you receive.  My most prized possession is a letter my dad wrote to me when he was in Vietnam and I was just 2 or 3. I wanted to give you this to tell you how much I love you, proud I am of you and how lucky I am to have a son like you.  You are the one thing that gives my life any real meaning.  You are an incredible son.  You are so smart and funny and clever and witty.  You say things that are both so funny and so profound.  You crack me up.  I think you get that from me! One of the things I love best about you is your natural empathy and compassion.  I love to watch you with your nieces or with other children and babies.  You are so kind and protective.  Even though Ryann drives you nuts now, when she was a baby you watched out for her all the time.  I also like the way that you stick up for the underdog and the underprivileged.  You know one of the reasons that I never had more kids  was that I wasn’t sure I could do any better than the one I already had. (I know  you want an older brother or sister but that’s not really possible)  Although our family situation is a little unusual you have handled it impressively.  You just seemed to adapt automatically.  One of your friends mom is a child psychologist who was interested in doing a study on us because we don’t follow the norm but she finds you to be a completely normal, well adjusted happy kid.  She thinks it has something to do with dad and I but really its just because we have just the right kid. The teenage years will be some of the greatest and worst that you’ll remember.  You’re beginning to start finding your own way and who you are.  Separating from your parents and building your own boundaries.  You’re going to be frustrated and embarrassed by us.  You’ll get mad at the rules and restrictions some of which will be explained and some wont.  Just know that no matter what we love you and we always have your best interest at heart.  Besides as much as you hate to admit it mom is usually right.  Trust me sometimes!  Mom doesn’t give you lots of rules and I’m not very hard on you but I do want to give you some advice.  Here’s mom’s advice for your next couple of years: Keep focused on school.  In the long run a particular subject won’t matter but it’s the building block to a better future. Tell the truth, to yourself and others.  It will keep you out of trouble and will keep trouble from getting out of hand if your in it. Make and keep good friends.  They will help decide the direction your life takes. Treat girls with respect but don’t take crap from them. Don’t do drugs.  I know sounds stupid but you’ve seen the impact its had on family members. Don’t drink until your legally able to do so.  I didn’t I swear.  But if you do be responsible and don’t ever drive or ride with someone who has. Learn to dance.  Girls love guys who can dance. I can hear you saying “mmooommm”.  Just trust me on some of these will ya! Chad,  my life would have been empty without you.  I’m so thankful I got so lucky to get a great kid like you! Love you Bubba, Mom