I am a grown ass woman. I’m I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. Got my own house got my own car. I’m a bad broad. Or something like that… So why did I find myself sneaking into my own house Saturday morning and getting busted like 15 year old by my mother!
It all started out harmless enough. Granny was going to come spend the night with Chad and they were going to do some kind of Flip This House or Trading Spaces thing and rearrange/re-ogranize Chad’s room and living area (yes I have a spoiled kid). So Mom says go on out with your friends and have a good time. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I make a ‘date’ and head out.
I really had planned to just have a couple of drinks, hang out a bit and head home about midnight. Well, I had such a great time I didn’t want the night to end. So about 7 am I decide to sneak home. My plan was to go in through the front door so the garage door wouldn’t wake them up and when they woke up and said ‘what time did you get in’ I would bald face lie and say, ‘oh about 2, you just didn’t hear me’.
Its been a long time since I’ve been sneaky so I screwed up right away. As I’m turning into my drive way I automatically hit the garage button. It’s an instinct now. Crap! So I hit it again to make it go down. Well that’s stupid since now its made twice as much noise. I wonder if I can get to the store in time to go get some coffee to make it look like I went and got mom coffee. So what if it was in the same clothes I wore last night. I just didn’t want to get new clothes dirty is all.
By then, I reacted and sent the garage opening again so I just pull in. I open the door as quietly as I can and of course the door alarm makes that little ‘beep beep beep’. If they slept through the garage opening and closing – 15 times – then surely they couldn’t have heard that. So I take of my flip flops and tippy toe towards my bedroom.
I’m feeling pretty good because I haven’t heard anything and as I pass the kitchen I see the refrigerator door open. My mom pokes her head out, “Where have you been?”. “Well you see mom it was late and I didn’t want to call and wake you guys up?” Then I get the lecture I’ve been up all night I couldn’t sleep. I was worried something had happened… blah blah. I felt like I was 15 again. I just kept waiting for her to tell me I was grounded. I know she was dying to say it. I hung my head in shame and skulked my way to my bedroom.
How is it that you can be a grown woman with teenage kids of your own and your mother can humble you and make you revert to teenager yourself in an instant. Its humiliating and humbling. Obviously, my sneaking around skills are very rusty. I don’t remember getting caught very often as a teenager. Either I was really sneaky or I didn’t sneak out enough to get caught. I’m sure there’s several morals to this story, I’m just not sure which one fits best.
