All in all this has been a pretty good dating year. I’ve met some pretty good guys and have a had a great time almost every time. But there seems to be a couple of troubling themes in my dating story book this year.
Although some may argue to the contrary, I’m pretty easy to get along with. If I agreed to go out with you, you are lucky. No really, you are. I have a full life and tons of friends (363 according to Facebook). If I’m willing to make time for you at says something about you.
- Don’t ask me what I want. Especially on the second date! How the hell do I know it’s just our second date? You’ve made it to a second date because you’ve made me laugh, impressed me with your intelligence or I’ve decided I want to see you naked. Hopefully all 3. Once I get to know you better I’ll tell you what I want and if what you want matches what I want then we’ll take it from there.
- As a rule I really don’t like dating a guy with kids, unless the kids are in their 20s or 30s, but that would most likely make you in your late 40s or 50s and as a rule I don’t like dating old guys. However, if I make an exception it’s going to be my preference not to meet your kids and vice versa, not unless it becomes something more.
- Don’t lie.
- If you’re not really available for dating don’t ask me. Don’t waste my time. I assume when you ask you:
A) Have an interest
B) Have no existing romantic entanglements
C) Do not live with your mother
D) Have time to date
E) Can afford to go out on occasion
- Make time. People make time for what’s important to them. Texting me at 2am is not what I mean about making time.
- Respect me. If/when the dating runs its course; you will really have found yourself a great friend.
- When I tell you “Don’t touch my fat parts!” Don’t tell me “I like your fat parts”. There are a 100 more appropriate and flattering responses. And if you can’t think of one just shut the hell up
- MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE is guys who do not honor their word. A man is only as good as his word. If you make a commitment for a date, meet it. If plans need to change, timely notice would be appropriate. After we were supposed to meet is just downright rude. If it happens once there might be a valid explanation, if it happens more than once you are showing me your true colors. If you don’t get this basic common courtesy and not me ‘sweatin’ you, then you’re just a dipshit.
I think my favorite dating experience was the year of the Great Dane. He was young, tall, no kids, and European. When we made plans that was money in the bank! There was a huge amount of respect for each other and for the ‘dating relationship’. We knew it was never going to be a marriage but it was one of my favorite times. Hmmm maybe I should make rule to only date foreign men.
I may be a little tough at first but I’m testing your mettle. What are you made of? But just because I’m tough doesn’t mean I’m not a girl. A little attention, flattery and consideration will get you a long way.
Nobody believes it but I want to meet the ‘one’ and end up happily ever after. In the meantime I’m going to have a great time dating “Mr. Right Now”and the “Mr. Maybe”.
I’ve probably just cursed myself and will never get another date. Luckily menopause is right around the corner and I can join the “I have fucked enough” club!
